the pot of gold.

I realized something important today, that I am judging things too quickly.

I have been worrying, worrying, worrying, about everything that doesn't require or ask for my worry.

I've been worrying as though I am addicted to it, as though my worry will somehow affect anything except for causing my own unhappiness.

It's not other people who are the problem - it is only my own expression of anything other than my true self.

I have been thinking about what the other person wants, what the other is thinking, what the other has ideas about.
And I have not been thinking about what I want, what I am thinking, what I have ideas about.

Not that I haven't analyzed as much as possible.
But the problem is that analysis does not yield answers when it comes to the particularities of the heart.
Analysis can only serve to cloud my sense of true self, my sense of the beauty within and without.

This is not impractical talk, this is the only kind of practical talk.
I have been thinking that I am looking for things from other,
When there is nothing I am looking for that cannot be found within.

This is not to say that I wish to wall myself off.
On the contrary, I wish to open up, to turn off the internal dialogue about the other and instead to enjoy.

Simply enjoy.

Instead of fault-finding, criticizing, and arguing, I see others and myself as a true expression of love in the universe.


Here are the questions:
1. What am I looking for? Here and in the moment?
2. Who is doing the looking?



THIS is the pot of gold. Not the rainbow.