finding perfection

God you smell so fucking good.


Even though you're not here anymore.

I just don't understand why you keep putting up a wall between us. I am really fucking cool, and really fucking in L..L..L with you. And you keep calling her around me. It's really fucking annoying. Okay, so I'm putting up walls too.

I want you to figure out what you want, and treat me like the girlfriend you've been dating for like 8 months.

But I can't stop smelling the spot you were sitting in.

Sometimes I wish I could just tell you to fuck off or that I love you. Like one of the two would be nice.

Shit, this limbo is driving me nuts. Soon I have to figure something out. But....you know, I know I can't take things too seriously.

I want love back. I want it in return. You know you could love me. You've told me before.

this is all too personal and hurting. I miss you and that's all there is to say. I think about you all week long, and suffer when you pull away from me in bed. You said once that sex was just a physical impulse, and that hurt. It's not about the sex with us, but you're not ready for anything more. Not when you're worrying about how she feels still. I'm really, really ready for you and me.

No more of this thinking. More of the drinking.

I love you.

There, I said it.